'Blessed be the name of the Lord'...

Said Job. After such personal tragedy, he simple said, 'Blessed be the name of the Lord'.

What a chap! Going through a little depressive time at the moment, and i want to follow Job's example, but I can't. Maybe going without food isn't the best option, I don't know, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm needy, I'm a smoker and I'm a joker...I'm so not worthy even to pick up a bible let alone read it.

Hmmm, I know this is a spiritual battle and all that, but I'm losing at the moment, and I'm down in the dumps. Hopefully I'll cheer up soon enough.

Travelling with Matt yesterday was good, if a little tiring (not because of Matt's company, just a long way and very late!) and we were talking about God's awesome power but how we both have a lot of stuff to contend with, and we're both dealing with it, but it's taking a while.

I am greatful; I have a nice car, a nice home, great friends, I'm in a wonderful church, and a key member in an annointed band. Maybe it's just my human need for more, but I feel incredibly lonely.

Self indulgent I know, but then, nobody reads this anyway...so all is well with the world, the hard shell goes back on, the fake smile, and the internal need for something new to break through.

Oh Lord, won't you change me? Won't you fix this broken heart? Who else but you can do this?